By Rev. Tim Gertsch
So you always hear the fascists and carpet-pissers of the world moanin’ about those of us who enjoy “takin’ er easy,” complaining we don’t work hard enough, we’re not good for nothin’, etc, etc… Well, that’s just like… their opinion man. However, I’ve got proof that laziness can in fact profit these uptight fellers. Let me explain how.
Recently, at my place of employment, I had come to realize that I was working WAAAY too hard, and not gettin’ much back for it. In a nutshell, I make commercials for clients, and then post them on a web portal that I also create, and then I would send them a copy on a CD, with a little personalized letter and whatnot. What a load of work man–time consuming, and irritating. So my dudely nature starts to take over about this time, and I’m just not feelin’ all the cutting and pasting, and waiting for CDs to burn, and then wrapping them up, and performing the tedious ten-step process to gettin’ these things in the mail. It’s just not for me.
About this time, my dudely brain hits the jackpot. Technology is a fantastic aid to the Dudeist way of life–just take for instance this Dudespaper itself! I don’t even have to walk out to the curb to get my paper. So I pose the idea to myself, “What if you don’t send these things out man?” Most of them were gettin’ lost in the mail or showin’ up broke anyway, so why waste the postage? Right? Ok, so here’s where it gets good.
I transfer a lot of large files back and forth between myself and another member of my band, using a file transfer website, a file sharing site rather. Well, that allows me to store huge documents online, and then simply provide the intended recipient with a link to click on and download their stuff. Hail the internet age!! In one fell swoop, I had discovered a way to eliminate all that tedious, pointless work!
What does all this have to do with corporate fascists? Well my friends, they didn’t want to see it at first, so I had to give em the ol’ “SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNY!!” and let ’em know why they needed to take my advice.
Paper, postage, time and the various supplies used in this former system, cost money. Not a ton of money individually, but in large numbers, over long periods of time, it all starts to add up. I crunched a few numbers, and then let the suits upstairs know that if they went with my system, they’d be saving anywhere from $8,000 to $10,000 a year. Hey-ho whaddya know, the Big LeBosski says to pick any rug in the house as a replacement.
So the next time your less than gracious employer pulls some fascist move on ya, flash this article his face, and then tell em to climb off your back, cuz you’re tryin’ to come up with the idea that’ll save him ten grand!
Keep on abidin’ fellow Dudeists!
[Editorial We’s Note: For those innarested, here are a few good free file sharing/storage providers: Mediafire, Letitbit.net, DropBox.com]
Hello to all Dudes.
I agree with you. The main issue of economics as a science, according to what i learned during my studies, is to deal with rare resources, and one of the rarest is lifetime. To achieve for every member of our producing community is a determinate effort by abusing the less possible resources (lifetime) or the largest possible effort with available resources. In fact economy (or management) as a science or way to act is not contrary to our nature as lazy human beings.
Laziness is a little bit misunderstood in our times.
(Sorry, for my bad English, its a foreign language for me. Thank you for reading.)
Dude,
I feel you. I’m a social psychologist working as a policy officer at the moment, asking myself why I started working at the age of 24 anyway. Well, the Dutch government is aggressivly cutting back on money, firing people and what not. So I say, hey man, this agression will not stand…man… So I made a plan where we invest in people in stead of in fancy pancy policy plans. They wouldn’t hear it.
These people are really uptight man!
Anyway, to sum ‘r up for ya: I got a book tip. Why don’t you go read Tom Hodgkinson’s “How to live Free”. This book changed my life man. It’s like a rug that ties the room together.
far out!
TOTALLY true, dude! I got engaged just about four weeks ago now. Wedding’s planned. DONE. I have a few other friends getting married around the same time I am and they spent 1-2 years each planning a wedding. WTF? Why do that to yourself? I found a great package deal with one-a-them yacht companies that take care of everything from the cake to the flowers to the entertainment. Booyah. Done.
Lazy? Maybe. But all flowers are pretty. Should I really care if they’re peonies or roses? Fuck man, I want a marriage, not a wedding. A wedding is just a party.
A lot of stuff in life is like that. We get so caught up in specific tasks or events that we forget to abide in the more meaningful . . . like . . .
lost my train of thought there.
Stella I totally agree with your wedding plans. My first wedding was with all the trimmings, after 7 years all I had was a divorce and 1 wedding picture (My ex kept all the rest) This time around was a package deal with a simple wedding on the beach and a few friends. No hassle. No ulcer. No worries. The flowers and lei’s were beautiful, the limosine nice and all in all hassle free. Screw all the materialism!