By Rev. DudeTunes
Perhaps you know the story of the Taoist Farmer? That’s a good one. (Click here to read it.)
Here’s the Dudeist version:
ONE DAY, the Dude’s car was stolen (and the briefcase) while parked in the handicapped spot. Brandt consoled the Dude, saying, “This is some terrible news.”
The Dude replied, “Yeah well, that’s just, ya know, like, your opinion, man.”
And Walter said, “Aww, fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling.”
The next day, the Dude’s car (and the Creedence) was found, smelling of a vagrant, but with a clue to the whereabouts of the money. Walter congratulated the Dude, saying “Our fucking troubles are over, Dude.”
The Dude replied, “Yeah well, that’s just, ya know, like, your opinion, man.”
And Walter, seeing the Dude’s point, said, “Aww, fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling.”
That night, the Dude, Walter, and Donny pursued the clue, which took them to Little Larry, the brat. The mang next door took a crowbar to the Dude’s car, breaking several windows, headlights, and denting its rust-colorated exterior in several places. Brandt consoled the Dude saying, “This is some terrible news.”
The Dude replied, “Yeah well, that’s just, ya know, like, your opinion, man.”
And Walter said, “Aww, fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling.”
A little later, Bunny returned to The Big Lebowski after visiting friends of hers in Palm Springs. The Dude and his Johnson were temporarily off the hook. And the Dude’s car, ever faithful, was parked at the bowling alley. Jesus and Quintana were still assholes, but all things considered, life was looking up. Walter congratulated the Dude, saying “Our fucking troubles are over, Dude.”
The Dude replied, “Yeah well, that’s just, ya know, like, your opinion, man.”
And Walter, seeing the Dude’s point said, “Aww, fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling.”
A few minutes later, the Dude, Walter, and Donny left the bowling alley, only to find Nihilists awaiting them in the parking lot. They finally did it. They finally killed the car; it stood burning in the background. A brouhaha ensued. One Nihilist (was it the one with the nine-toed woman?) lost his ear, and Donny died of a heart attack. Brandt consoled the Dude saying, “This is some terrible news.”
The Dude replied, “Yeah well, that’s just, ya know, like, your opinion, man.”
And Walter said, “Aww, fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling.”
Aw, just snuggle up to the Co(s)mic Mystery… with” Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)” echoing through the galaxies… (are galaxies female, dude?)
I havent lived on earth in years,to much bullshit.historyis a theory and to tell you the truth,i dont think im really here either man.fucken nillist,pornographers and butthole fishermen have really yanked me raw.
Fuck it man, just go Bowling…..