By Rev. Ryan Colt Weber
So last night I was sitting at the bowling alley sipping a White Russian when a coworker showed up and we got to talking about random things. Eventually my coworker asked me how I could afford to do all the fun things I do on our meager salary. So this morning while listening to some Creedence, it hit me that perhaps I should share some of my financial management ideas with my fellow Dudeists so that they too might more easily be able to take ‘er easy for all those sinners out there.
Basically it boils down to this…GET RID OF THAT EXPENSIVE SHIT YOU DON"T NEED. For starters I don’t own a car. Now I have just saved hundreds of dollars in car payments and auto insurance. If I need a ride then I walk or if I cant walk I hitch a ride with a friend and maybe slip them a little gas money. If you live in the city then they probably have a bus line that will get you anywhere you need to go in the city and there is always Greyhound for your further destinations. By ditching your car (don’t leave it in a 
handicapped zone) you’ll not only save a ton of cash which can be used for a more leisurely lifestyle, but as an added bonus you are helping to feed mother nature’s monkey so to speak.
Now some people do need cars and that is understandable. The only question you have to ask yourself is are you spending way too much on some flashy red sports car you’re just going to crash into a fountain anyway.
Another expensive item you can do without is a high-tech cellphone. Unless you’re recieving instructions for a ransom drop from a bunch of marmot-armed Nihilists ask yourself this: Do you really need a phone with internet, music, camera, texting, touchscreen, three or four games, and a other useless features. I have always been of the opinion that phones are for talking. Am I wrong? A financially prudent idea
would be to keep your old phone for at least two or three years and then take advantage of most phone companies’ rebate deal to get another relatively cheap phone with none of the fancy applications on it. Now you have just saved yourself a couple hundred bucks outright and maybe fifteen to twenty bucks a month. In any event, it’s baksheesh much better spent on oat sodas and bowling.
There are a gazillion other little ways you can save money (For instance, I get free toilet paper — Don’t ask how) and each situation is unique to the individual. So the next time you are in some store or other ask yourself if you really need that item or if it would be more fun to save that money for a trip to the next Lebowskifest instead.
Had that not occurred to you? You might just be living in the past.
Thanks for trading this information, compeer! Very professionally courteous of you.
I eat free every night that I work and I get lots of free food to bring home to feed my little monkeys. It lets me save my hard earned bones and clams
Far out, Rev. Weber…
I think one of the reasons it’s called a “cell phone” is that it keeps you in a virtual prison cell…no private down time because you’re always accessible no matter where you go.
I have a very basic cell phone but I have it only in case the A-Dmobile breaks down or I need to call Mrs. A-D because I’ll be late or…um, lost my train of thought.
Anyway, I dig your style, man. We (the collective we, not the editorial) have created a false reality that may be connecting us with each other and with access to information, but it’s disconnecting us from the people around us and, most uncool, our inner dude.
Well A-D that lack of connection doesn’t stop with the cell phonoe unfortunately. Its now getting to the point where people would rather talk to you on Facebook or MySpace or one of those other internet doodads instead of the phone. But I appreciate y’alls comments. PS Dude Colt and Rev. Weber and one and the same.
DudeColt you bring up some very good points. The wife and I have decided to take a couple trips this summer (2 out of 3 to Lebowski Fests I might add) and the first thing we did to try and off-set travel expenses was to see what we could cut back on. Things like going to movies and buying lunch were two things we could easy stop doing for a few months.
Another thing I don’t think everyone does is budget their money. We have figured out how much money we make every month, what our standard bills are and what we have left if we feel like splurging on something. Because of this we don’t have the standard $10k in credit card debt that supposedly every American household has. In fact, we don’t have any.
Couldn’t agree more about disconnecting from other humans. As a Dude still in his early 20’s it pains my heart to see how members of my generation would rather text and e-mail than speak or write an actual, personal letter… like with paper and ink. Time for some tunes to uplift my mood… later on, Dudes
Excellent article brother Weber, but may i also suggest a few more ways of stashing the backsheesh?
1. Never pay for a new cd or dvd- that’s what Pirate Bay is for.
2. Buy some bowling shoes- they’ll pay for themselves within a couple months to a year.
3. If you absolutely must go to the movies for a date- make it a matinee followed by free outing.
4. But cheap meat and freeze it- even frozen meat can be put straight on the Foreman without thawing. And always scour the weeklies for deals.
5. Never buy expensive weed- the added quality just isn’t worth the meager quantity.
Hope this helps,
brother abe- the sufi dude