By Rev. Bradley Greybeard
…you own 2 copies of The Big Lebowski; one to watch and one to lend to unsaved friends and family…
…you freak out when you pick up your Lebowski DVD case because it feels light. In your panic you immediately assume that the disk has been lost or stolen…until you open it and, lo and behold, you realize that disks don’t actually add any perceptible weight to their cases, and that maybe you’re more dependent on the Film than you think…
…all the mixtapes you make for your special ladies (or good and thorough men) have suspiciously high Creedence and/or Lebowski soundtrack content…
…you’re not at all uptight about having some rust coloration on your car…
…although you’d never admit it, you harbor some mistrust for people who don’t like The Big Lebowski…
…you hate the fucking Eagles, man!…
…you find yourself wishing that Donny’s remains had been transmitted in a different coffee receptacle than Folgers, since (if you have any taste in coffee at all) you hate Folgers almost as much as the fucking Eagles and you can’t bring yourself to drink it, no matter how beautifully traditional it would be…
…you’re never entirely sure of date, but it’s far out, whatever it is…
…you’re too lazy to finish any of the top 10 lists that you start…
More to come! We uh, got uh, four more detectives working on the case.
Are they working in shifts? If so, that would give you round-the-clock coverage on this case.
yeah, they’d have them working in shifts. I totally don’t trust anyone who DIDN’T like The Big Lebowski. And I actually find it difficult to imagine not holding The Dude as a personal hero….
Excellent, Rev. Bradley. I resemble these remarks (I did have two copies of TBL until I gave it to a friend who is sort of the Walter to my Dude).
One thing, Dude. Many learned Dudeists have disputed this, but some Dudeists do actually like the fucking Eagles.
True. I actually don’t hate the fucking Eagles either. I just don’t care for them…except for the song “Already Gone”. That song rocks.
The operative word in the title is “Might”. I didn’t mean to imply that these were obligatory items of faith. I’d never get all dogmatic on your asses
hey you know that famous question “who’s your favorite beatle?” which is supposed to reveal secrets of your personality? let’s play, “who’s your favorite eagle?”!
mine’s don felder. he was the less bombastic of the two lead guitarists (as opposed to joe walsh, though joe was pretty cool, esp. before he joined the eagles). felder played lots of different styles including flamenco (the coolest guitar style in the world) and wrote the theme song to the animated film “heavy metal” which is a total acid trip of a song.
who’s YOUR favorite eagle? or, alternatively, who’s your least favorite eagle?
this is probably a better oracle than tarot cards.
I’m not all that familiar with the individual Eagles beyond their names. I liked some of Henley’s solo stuff, but he always seemed to take take himself too seriously. I also liked Walsh’s “Life’s Been Good.”
The one Eagle I didn’t care much for was Glenn Frey. Always seemd like a jerk to me, which was reaffirmed by this quote from an interview with Jeff Bridges:
Do you like Creedence Clearwater Revival and dislike the Eagles?
[Laughs] I love Creedence and, you know, as far as the Eagles, I don’t hate the Eagles like the Dude hates them. I remember I ran into Glenn Frey, he gave me some shit. I can’t remember what he said exactly, but you know, my anus tightened a bit.
yeah, maybe it’s just the rugged features and the tough guy roles he took on during his acting career, but frey sure seems like a bully.
the fact that he’d give bridges shit for merely reading a script is the depth of lameness.
the eagles should have fun with it. the guys in metallica apparently find the dude calling them a bunch of assholes rather hilarious.
I’m trying to imagine what would happen if Metallica and the Eagles did a Lebowskifest Speed of Sound tour…
Yes! I’d roadie for that.
Fuckin´A, man. I got 5 copies of TBL. One to lend and four to..ehh..uhhh..yeah.
Five copies?! Fuck me! You’re the Swedish Billy Graham!
i thought i became that when i wrote the dudes prayer, but yeah 5 copies, i cant resist to buy the movie when i see it with a cover i dont have in my collection.
Would you please sign my tits?
Dudes, the sign-up process? Hey, there’s a beverage here!
Sadly standards have fallen in adult internetainment. If we don’t have a sign up process the Nihilist spammertures start posting bullshit money-making schemes all over the goddamn Dudespaper. Then darkness warshes over.
That’s a bummer when there’s no bottom