By Rev. Bradley Greybeard
…you don’t see a wedding ring on your right hand…
…you tend to get your amphibious rodent nomenclature mixed up since obviously you’re not a fucking park ranger…
…you still jerk off manually…
…all of your Achiever friends think you’re obsessed…
…you get annoyed by hosts with cleft assholes who aren’t as gracious to their guests as you are…
…the brain isn’t the biggest erogenous zone on you…
…you can’t remember the last time you referred to Oat Soda as “beer”…
…you don’t mind if anyone does a J…
…Big Lebowski trivia quizzes seem like they’re all written for fucking dunces…
…like water, you follow the path of least resistance. The words, “If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing” uttered by the great Dudeist thinker, Homer J. Simpson, might as well be your motto…
…the very idea of sports (but not bowling, of course) sounds exhausting to you. You may not mind watching sports, but you’d probably derive more enjoyment from hanging out with your friends than from watching the game…
…while not being a complete push-over, you are more accepting of annoying people and tend to put up with more of your friends’ shit than most other people would…
…you have great respect for women and despise anyone who treats objects like them…
…you have a fine appreciation for the absurd, and take comfort in the works silly people like Mitch Hedberg, Monty Python, and George Carlin…
…you like to joke and are fluent in sarcasm. Your better half wishes you weren’t so fatuous…
…you realize that possessions and wealth don’t make a man happy. You’re not greedy…
…you have a very black sense of humor and enjoy the works of the late Great Du
de and author, Kilgore Trout…
…you have the awareness and convictions of an activist, but you’ve mellowed with age and are way less zealous than most of your radical friends. You’re more interested resolving conflict and seeing things from both sides…
Far out, man. I gotta list.
Fuckin’ A.
Looking at the list, I realise that I have still a long way to go before I will be really in “Dudeism”.
But it does not matter. Popes are priests a long time before they become Popes.
Rev. Peter Voegtli
You’re more Dudeist than fucking Tevye, Rev Pete. These lists are just fatuous fun and games
I fucking LOVE Kurt Vonnegut!
He once said he was going to sue the makers of Pall Mall cigarettes because they said on the package that they kill…and they didn’t. He then had to live long enough “…to suffer leaders with names like Bush and Dick and, up until recently, ‘Colon.'”….
Fuckin’ A
lol@bchbum!
GREAT list man! That’s a fuckin’ swiss watch list Dude. I especially enjoyed the one about quizzes. LOL.
Hey, I used “nomenclature” the other day in class. It was awesome.
Far out. This one is a strike!
Fuckin’ A, man. Far out.
“If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing” no truer words have ever been spoken.
I have had doubts about my faith and calling, and they are dispelled forever.
Thank you Rev. Ducak.
Glad to be of service, Rev Dick! Go with Maude