It is in keeping with the underlying Asian undertones of The Big Lebowski that the Dude is fond of long, leisurely baths. Remember — daily bathing was uncommon in the West until last century. The medieval elite chose instead to cover their funk with expensive perfumes and powders. In fact it’s still common in many European countries for folks to go for days without a wash. And that’s cool. That’s cool. Natural and zesty.
However, the Dude’s enthusiastic attitude towards personal hygiene isn’t born from uptight attitudes about germs or a little grime. Although it sure feels nice to be clean, the bathing ritual is a holy one. Time spent in the bath or the shower is sacred, personal time. It’s like a mini-vacation from the world of clothing and constriction. Like dipping back into the warm womb — the original private residence. It can be one of the soft spots in your rough day.
Surely that’s the reason for the rapid growth in the spa industry. People need an excuse to take a break and scrub themselves from their toes up to their ears and everything in between, including the soul. However, the prices people shell out for these "treatments" are absurd. Not to mention the pricey "salon" products people buy for their own bathrooms. All the Dude needed for his relaxing home spa getaway was a few candles, a bottle of Mr. Bubble, a tape of whale sounds and some good dope.
Which is why we’re a bit loath to recommend a bunch of fancy soap products to anyone. However, we recently stumbled upon a bath set that may cause us to revise our attitudes. Not only that, it’s most modestly-priced.
For $30 plus shipping and handling, you can get what is arguably the coolest bath product set in the history of the known universe.
According to the site:
You’ve got a cute carpet bag that’s untouched by Woo, with a gold rope handle that you can use for hanging or repurposing for a night on the town. The bag measures 7.5" x 5" x 2". In it, you’ll get our 4oz Dude’s Caucasian Drink soap, a 3.5 oz bowling ball soap, Walter’s Face Down In The Mud dead sea mud mask, and your choice of toe soaps – either the large toe, or four small ones – they both weigh in at about 2.5 oz.
As you can see in the last photo, we also have available a bowling pin soap on a rope, Maude’s Viking helmet soap, Jackie Treehorn’s drawing soap, and a can of Donny’s Ashes bath salts.
Apparently it’s all totally handmade from natural ingredients. Unfortunately the site only lists that there’s one set in stock, but perhaps they might be convinced to produce a bunch more given the inevitable response that will come from this article. After all, there are a lot of Dudeists out there who could use a break from their hectic schedules. What day is this? Is this a reek-day? Now where did we put that tape of whale sounds?
Also – traditional male dudes who consider a line of products like this to be overly feminine take note: this would make an exceptional gift for Lebowski-loving lady friends. She might even invite you to share in the bathtime fun!
Makes me wish I had a special lady to share it with. :(
Rev Wendy says
If a guy gave me that, I would TOTALLY break out the naked and rub a dub dub for two, to use the parlance of our times.
Far out , man.
Great article too…really enjoyed the womb as the original private residence bit. Fuckin A man, I got a bath man, fuckin’ A
Irish Monk says
Hear that, GbMan? All you need is some lebowsoap and a plane ticket and you’re in!
Too bad they don’t have any marmot bathbombs. A little more selection instead of just soap and I’d get one for my fucking exwife for xmas but she’s already got too much soap. Not to mention that she’s a lebowski hater (that fucking bitch) so it’d be a waste of money. I’d buy it for myself if it had bathbombs and salts
Irish Monk says
It’s got Donny’s ashes bath salts! I wasn’t listening to the Dudely’s story…