Dudeism Under Siege –
Stepping Over The Lines in the Sand
An unfortunately common concern about our Dudeist animals is their survivorship status in nature. The three species mentioned here are all Threatened or Endangered at both Federal and State levels of mostly due to habitat destruction. It is a sad fact to recognize that some of our Dudeist totems are in danger of extinction. Many other Dudely species, like the Mountain Gorilla, the Panda bear and several Whales (creatures that sing the gospel of the Dude to the underwater world) share a similar fate. What does this mean for animal Dudeism — In this world of unchecked aggression, where enlightened Dudeist species are under constant threat of getting paraquatted, what is a dude to do? The over-the-line greed of the Antidudeists seems to be dominating world policy and practice and threatens to destroy many of nature’s more gentle souls.
Nature ultimately seeks balance and Dudeism as a natural phenomenon is only witnessed in a balanced system, an intact ecology. A valuable quality of Dudeism in nature is that it can act like a barometer. Dudeist species are never dominant, they do not impose upon the planet through density of population — that would be undude. They do tend to live in unique, tranquil niches that are only available on a healthy diverse, intact planet. Old growth forests, large undisturbed northern wilderness, untrammeled tracks of pristine desert — these are the private residences of the dudelike animals. Without these places, our "dudeimals" perish and Dudeism in nature begins to crumble. Indeed, a true Dude species would not even want to exist on a planet without these chilled-out places.
The true Dudeist is a conservationist at heart supporting the conservation cause whenever possible. Perhaps support is simply purchasing a tape of whale songs from one’s favorite conservation organization to relax to in the tub, or perhaps something more ambitious.
When a Dude sees someone in danger, he gets up from his La-Z-Boy recliner and shambles right out there to see what he can do to help. That is Dudeist compassion. After all, in a world were those who believe in "nussing" can break down the door to your private residence and throw a poor amphibious rodent into your tub of sudsy serenity, imagine how it must be for the Dude animals, not to mention the rodent itself? Do we say to ourselves, "My condolences sirs, the bums lost"? Or do we draw a line in the sand and say, "this aggression will not stand"?
Sometimes the compassionate Dude must take action and I encourage all fellow Dudes to support conservation of our Dudeist species. All these Dude animals really need is a modest place to call home. I do not want to look back at a long list of extinct Dudeist species and reflect that all it really would have taken to fix the big picture was a small gesture. To hold off a bit from the destruction and just give a little something back. It will indeed be a sad day for humanity when we realize that after the next mass extinction, all any animal Dude really wanted was its niche back. They really tied the world together.
More Ins and Outs:
The Nature Conservancy: www.nature.org
World Wildlife Fund: www.panda.org
The Sierra Club: www.sierraclub.org
The Natural Resource Defense Council: www.nrdc.org
Brilliant!! My hanging out counting hawks is doing much to assist me in becoming enveloped in the Tao. Anyone out there that isn’t doing something to help our warm and fuzzy, or sedentary, cold-blooded brothers is drifting from the Way.
I wonder what a grizzly bear would be like on a hit of acid.
The Arch Dudeship says
Bears and acid…I think may come close:
Don’t dose the bears… bad things will happen… trust me :-)
Hey man, when you get a chance, you should check out the koala. Hell of a dude. Sleeps for 20 hours a day, and fills in the rest of his time either finding a special bit of leaf, or being at one with his special lady.
That’s a lifestyle.
You really do have a lot of time on your hands. Checked out your entries, like this one. I like animals and nature. You’re smarter than I thought. Though this “dude paper” is almost too much to read/follow. In fact I find myself drifting a bit trying to read through some of the articles. It all seems a bit too intellectual for a simple dude like me. My mental fitness has never been consistent. I gotta below average IQ and I get a bit lazy I guess, but I get it. I’ll check in between the ongoing average 10 minute conversations I get in my taxi. Maybe it will help.
Ed Churchman says
Pure, unbridled bonafide genius, Art! Finally got around to studying your column and I find myself richly rewarded. And here was me just thinking of Sloths as Dudeimals, you’ve really opened my eyes to the finer points of our animalia cousins. It’s nice to know that Dudeism is truly inherant in nature and not just something we great apes cooked up one day to get out of the ploughing! Bravo, sir!
Rev Wendy says
ANTI DUDE LMFAO
fuckin A man
Rev. "Big Tuna" says
Marissa Jean Patterson says
Pandas are pretty dude and they’ve been my favorite animal since I was two. I like that you included the conservationist links at the end. Grizzly bears are almost gone from my state (Washington) and people are working on restoring the population.