By Rev. Ryan Colt Weber
So last night I was sitting at the bowling alley sipping a White Russian when a coworker showed up and we got to talking about random things. Eventually my coworker asked me how I could afford to do all the fun things I do on our meager salary. So this morning while listening to some Creedence, it hit me that perhaps I should share some of my financial management ideas with my fellow Dudeists so that they too might more easily be able to take ‘er easy for all those sinners out there.
Basically it boils down to this…GET RID OF THAT EXPENSIVE SHIT YOU DON"T NEED. For starters I don’t own a car. Now I have just saved hundreds of dollars in car payments and auto insurance. If I need a ride then I walk or if I cant walk I hitch a ride with a friend and maybe slip them a little gas money. If you live in the city then they probably have a bus line that will get you anywhere you need to go in the city and there is always Greyhound for your further destinations. By ditching your car (don’t leave it in a handicapped zone) you’ll not only save a ton of cash which can be used for a more leisurely lifestyle, but as an added bonus you are helping to feed mother nature’s monkey so to speak.
Now some people do need cars and that is understandable. The only question you have to ask yourself is are you spending way too much on some flashy red sports car you’re just going to crash into a fountain anyway.
Another expensive item you can do without is a high-tech cellphone. Unless you’re recieving instructions for a ransom drop from a bunch of marmot-armed Nihilists ask yourself this: Do you really need a phone with internet, music, camera, texting, touchscreen, three or four games, and a other useless features. I have always been of the opinion that phones are for talking. Am I wrong? A financially prudent idea would be to keep your old phone for at least two or three years and then take advantage of most phone companies’ rebate deal to get another relatively cheap phone with none of the fancy applications on it. Now you have just saved yourself a couple hundred bucks outright and maybe fifteen to twenty bucks a month. In any event, it’s baksheesh much better spent on oat sodas and bowling.
There are a gazillion other little ways you can save money (For instance, I get free toilet paper — Don’t ask how) and each situation is unique to the individual. So the next time you are in some store or other ask yourself if you really need that item or if it would be more fun to save that money for a trip to the next Lebowskifest instead.
Had that not occurred to you? You might just be living in the past.