Dsalm 23 (King Jeff Version)
Revealed by Rev. Bradley Greybeard
1. The DUDE is my shepherd; I shall abide.
2. He maketh me to lie down on Persian rugs: He leadeth me into the still bubblebath waters.
3. He restoreth my stash: He leadeth me in the paths of dudeliness for his self-applied name’s sake.
4. Yea, though I walk through the Simi Valley of the shadow of Nihilism, I will fear no fucking Fascism: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy johnson they comfort Our Special Lady.
5. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of cleft assholes: Thou anointest my head in the toilet; careful, man! My beverage runneth over. Does this place look like I’m fucking married?
6. Surely limberness and a strict drug regimen shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the bungalow of the DUDE for ever.
The Jesus (Original) Version
1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.