Whether you see Valentine’s Day as a Dudeist holiday depends a lot on what your perspective is, man.
The Dudeist connection is pretty obvious if you’re into the whole Lupercalia thing (a natural, zesty fertility festival beginning on February 15 that helped ancient Romans shake their winter doldrums, among other things). According to the parlance of our ethos, the Dude and Our Special Lady had their own fertility festival when they engaged in the physical act of love. I mean, coitus.
However, if you believe Valentine’s Day commemorates a fellah by the name of Valentine, a Christian priest that legend says was martyred for performing outlawed wedding ceremonies in Imperial Rome…well, there’s no literal connection here, Dudes.
And let’s also not forget—let’s not forget, Dudes—that keeping a holiday, that Hallmark-created, for uh, money, you know, within card shops—that isn’t Dudeist either.
Either way you look at it, though, ordained Dudeist Priests are in a unique position to help couples innerested in getting married. With weddings often being huge sources of uptightness and stress, our laid-back presence can help them avoid getting married compulsively and without joy.
As a Dudeist Priest, you can legally perform all varieties of religious ceremonies in most U.S. states. As it says at Dudeism.com, you can minister over a wedding, a funeral, a bris, a baptism, or even a pet-spaying ceremony with pride and authority.
In my next Dudespaper column—which may be out sometime next week if I can get out from under some real reactionaries in my life right now—I’ll be sharing some pointers on how to preside over a Dudeist wedding ritual. In the meantime, here are some tips to consider if you want to help unite lovers in dudely matrimony:
1.Become an ordained Dudeist Priest here. It’s free and just a click away.
2.Before conducting a ceremony, check with the folks down at the league office (i.e., the local County Clerk) to make sure your designation as a Dudeist Priest is cool, legally speaking. There are some real reactionaries out there trying to pee on our matrimonial rug, man. Click here.
Anyway, have a warm, snuggly Valentine’s Day next week, Dudes. It’s like Lennon said, man: “Love is all you need.” Or was it, "Why don’t we do it in the road?"
In the spirit of Lupercalia, both seem fitting.