Some people have asked me what I live by and what I believe in, and when I tell them that I’m a Dudeist, their replies have usually been something along the lines of “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Now, trying to explain to someone what Dudeism is all about shouldn’t be all that hard, but still most people don’t get it — the answers I usually receive are usually something like, "That sounds easy" or "That just sounds like a another word for ‘slacker.’" When I get answers like that I usually just shrug and say “fuck it.” What’s the point in trying to explain it further? If they’d listen they might learn something, but they don’t want to be privy to the new shit.
I live in Stockholm, the capital of Sweden. Like most capital cities, Stockholm just happens to be the most stressed city in the country. Everywhere you look people are rushing to nothing and screaming at each other. Not really a Dudeist paradise. So attempting to tell these people to slow down and take it easy isn’t easy at all. They just think I’m a goddamn moron. I have tried to get some friends to be more Dudeist but it’s been impossible—they seem to enjoy the stress. Or is it that they find following the Dudeist way too dramatic of a change? I would bet the few bones or clams I have on the latter. Most folks find it terrifying to change their ways.
What’s more, they might be under the impression that that takin ‘er easy makes you dumb. However, if they think that being a Dudeist is just about being lazy all the time, then they’ve really missed the point. When I told some friends that being Dudeist is also about being a nice guy they said I was crazy. They said, "You can’t be nice all the time." And no, you can’t, of course, but you can try. I think this just shows that Dudeism isn’t for everyone. Even the word makes some people uncomfortable. Dudeism.
Nevertheless, we Dudeists should be very grateful and consider ourselves lucky to be the way we are. Not many people can say that they actually can live the way we do: being nice to everyone (almost), not being too attached to material wealth, laying on the couch doing nothing for hours, and actually not being possessed by money. That is the most frightening thing in the world for most people, to let go and just kick back with some friends and a couple of oat sodas and not care anymore (Not in a nihilist way though). They worry that if you just take ‘er easy too much you will become a goddamn moron, a bum, a loser, a deadbeat, a goldbricker, someone the square community doesn’t give a shit about. Or will you?
Look at some of the greatest dudes in history: They may have been lazy as hell (at times) but many accomplished more in a few years than most people do in a lifetime. No, taking it easy doesn’t turn you into a vegetable. It helps you open your mind and find inner peace, helps you find your own meaning in life. It’s like Lenin said: See who benefits, and uh…uh…you know?
A smarter feller than ourselves, Lao Tzu, said: "When you done your work, retire." Now that’s fucking interesting, man. Dudeism is the religion of people who understand how important it is to relax once in a while (or all the time, if that is the modest task which is your charge). But hey, if some people would rather die of a heart attack when they’re forty, that’s their choice. It’s their basic freedom.
Now, let all of us bow our heads in a prayer so as to help keep our minds limber:
Our Dude, who art in Los Angeles,
Hallowed be thy handle.
Thy rug will come.
Thy chill be done
All over Earth, as it is in your bungalow.
Give us this day our daily caucasian,
And forgive us our stresspasses,
As we forgive those who stresspass against us.
And lead us not into Simi Valley,
But deliver us from real reactionaries and human paraquat.
For thine is the lane, and the ball, and the what-have-you,
Down through the ages, across the sands of time,
Lodged against the abutment.
Fuckin’ A man.
Maybe someday we can all get along, dudes and un-dudes living in harmony. We ain’t buying what they’re selling, just as they’re not digging what we’re preaching, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still see eyeball to eyeball, jacko. They may be worthy fuckin’ adversaries, but they’re also fellow human beings playing a part in the whole durn human comedy. A few laughs, a few beers, and our fuckin’ troubles are over.
Then again, if breaking beers together doesn’t draw any water, we can always fall back on a quote by famous demi-dude Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: "Don’t take any guff from these swine." Aitz Chaim He, as the Hebrews used to say. The tree of life has many branches. No need to go too far out on a limb.
Also, as a wiser Swede than myself once said, “Många bäckar små blir en stor å” (Many small brooks become a big stream). In other words, dudes, we gotta stick together.
Take ‘er easy now. Or foga er, in the parlance of Scan-dude-navia.
Rev Bobo says
In this far out universe of ours I stand at the edge of the precifice ready to Abide of course that’s just like my opinion man.
The Arch Dudeship says
Far out, man. This is freakin’ brilliant. Mark it 8, Dude.
always abides says
det är spännande det du är från sverige! jag är american men jag prata svenska på skolan. glad to see we have dudes all over the world!
Swedish Jeff says
Thanks alot dudes, i like this one myself.
kul att du kan svenska always abides, Dudeism needs to be spread to every country in the world!
Fuckin’ A man… You gotta a grip of the life itself, and realize that “doing” all the things that most people believe they _must_ do, isn’t really necessary. Most things are just ringers with dirty whites on the long bowling lane of life, man. And life is too short for those dirty whites to ruin it. Just abide, and live the life you wan’t to live!
It’s like the Coca Cola ad:
Dudeism: Life as it should be.
Peace and FÖRBLI ;)
Sometimes you just have to say, “Fuck it”. If you spend your life worrying about what people think about you based on what you “do” or how you dress, you cannot Abide. Your thinking will be too uptight. The Dude told us what to do: “Just Take It Easy, Man”.
I agree. Us Dudeists have to stick together. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting a fellow Dudeist in person yet. However, if you will it dude, it is no dream. We must Abide. The human paraquats and their friends with cleft assholes will always be there, so it’s best to “just take it easy, man”. — Dude Wear
The Dudely Lama says
This prayer is now part of the holy Dudeist canon – it will be recited before the upcoming Lebowskifest in front of thousands of people. Great work, John.
Irish Monk says
The Dude’s Prayer fucking rules! Way to go, Johnny!
Laid back Dave says
Feelin’ more chilled than I was at the top of the page. Kudos, Dude.
Steven Madsen says
Now that I am a Dudeist Priest I intend to wear my patch proudly. However, I am concerned that I might be asked to deliver the blessing at an occasion where some may not fully agree with my worldview. Typically this sort of blessing takes the form of an appeal to a supernatural being with magical powers – which is cool for those who believe in that sort of thing; but for those who are more skeptical that’s just, like, your opinion man. So what I need is a non-spiritual generic prayer to no one in particular, where I avoid sounding like a nihilist and leave everyone feeling like it was a legitimate blessing, or eulogy, or whatever. Maybe something about abiding, takin’er easy, and tying the room together?
Steven Madsen says
I hadn’t yet received any response, so I drank an oat soda and gave this matter some more thought. I came up with the following: “My friends, I’ve been asked to give the benediction here and as an ordained Dudeist Priest I feel obliged to do so. So blessings on all of us. Let’s be cool and be cool to each other. After all, life is short and we all deserve happiness, or if you don’t buy the notion that we all DESERVE happiness, at least the PURSUIT of happiness – according to the U.S. Declaration of Independence. So let us enjoy life’s small pleasures and pursue happiness; remembering as we do so that the Buddha taught that true peace and happiness comes from within. Amen.”
Rev Sunrise says
Why expect an answer from a fellow Dude ? he read it QED. hE MAY HAVE SHRUGGED…….
J.J. Vicars says
I feel ya, dude. I live in Tokyo, one of the most unDude cities in the world. A bunch of trendy wannabes buzzing around like mosquitos in a hurry to go nowhere. Self-absorbed and flying down the street while texting. Plus all the bankers and bureaucrats. Sometimes I need my inner Walter to protect my inner Dude. Other times I just enjoy meandering along and holding up lines while everybody else is in a rush. The old farts do it too. Fortunately it gets a lot better outside the city.